Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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