Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
