i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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