The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
