On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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