Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
