My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
