Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Randomize
