Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
