I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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