what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
