there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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