office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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