I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am available for nakedness
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
