Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
