i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
