Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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