i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
