Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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