bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
