So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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