I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
