the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize