I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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