We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
