dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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