The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
