Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
