What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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