How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Come on in and take your pants off
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