I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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