dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
