I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
