idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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