It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You are the jesus of drinking
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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