finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
