Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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