Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
do nipples grow back?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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