There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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