i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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