I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
