May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if only i could text you this smell
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
