i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I've blown a few things in my day
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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