Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
