So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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