we should wear snuggies to the strip club
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
