so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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