Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
