all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
