One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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