soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize