Three words: puerto rican gang bang
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
