found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My life is pants optional.
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