Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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