Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
