Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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