God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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