I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
