Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
