Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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