ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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