my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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