All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
