Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am available for nakedness
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
