I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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