Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
