You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
