started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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