sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
