4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
