thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
