believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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