i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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