The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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