I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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