so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
