i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
