Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
