The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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