Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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