The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize