Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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