I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
