birth control should be required to get into college
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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