She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
