Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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