The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
